“My wife has issues, why should I tap?”
I know a young couple, we’ll call Mike & Sarah, that are open minded, funny, connected and generally happy. Lately, Mike has been experiencing lots of problems with Sarah. He said, “I am a nice guy, I do my job, more than expected, and still, she gets angry, moody and ignores me and my needs. She has so many issues and she should tap with you, but she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t think tapping is what she needs… how do I make her come and tap?”
I smiled and invited him to come without her and do his own tapping. When Sarah is ready she will join too.
Mike came for a session and for the first 10 minutes he spoke about her problems, her stress, her attitude and her rage. He gave me so much valuable information in those first few minutes. He basically shared all of the problems HE HAS with her. Sarah’s problems were actually “owned” by Mike.
He felt it everywhere and even if Sarah would show him love, he wouldn’t be able to see it. He was looking at what he was focusing on. In his mind, he was a victim of her emotional swings. In his mind he always gave and never got anything back…. Just like his memories from childhood.
Of course, being a man with the powerful masculine identity, he was unaware of where that came from. So, we started with tapping and NLP combined. I didn’t use the karate chop point at all, since he was already in the “trance.”
We first tapped on “I do so much for her” and when he was deeply convinced that THAT is the source of the problem, I got him out of trance with “She does so much for me.” He got quiet and nodded his head in a surprise.
We went back to the “I do so much for her trance.” We got him out with “I don’t do anything for her, anything that she really needs.” He nodded again.
When I attempted to get him back to the place of “I do so much for her,” Mike smiled and humbly said, “You know, that’s not true, I do all of that for me, because I love doing the things I do! I just tell her that I am doing it for her.”
Layer by layer, we were cleaning up his firm beliefs. The biggest surprise came when he suddenly remembered that he is actually the angry and the moody one. Then he remembered that once he got so angry that he broke everything that was breakable in the house. When I asked him how come he forgot about it, he said, “Oh, that was long time ago, last year.”
His subconscious mind tricked him in the most elegant way. Mike was projecting his internal chatter, his own beliefs on Sarah. And that was just a beginning of our work – as we tapped, he was releasing and letting go of the deep, strong emotions and finally discovered how it all begun – from the experiences his absent mother. His subconscious mind got the message that if a woman loves you, she would leave you. Because Sarah was not leaving, he was desperately re-creating situations that could potentially lead to the end. Because of intense yelling in his childhood, he felt alive when someone yell at him. Since Sarah was not a yeller, he made powerful projections that were true to him. It was a double edged sword.
A few days later, I called to check in on him. Mike said that they were both so busy and he didn’t have time to think about our session. When asked if they had time to fight, he smiled and said, “No, not yet!” I invited him to make time for some good yelling fun, but he just ignored my invitation. I wonder why…
The moral of the story is… when we point our finger outward we often project our own insecurities on to the people we love. When we have inner conflict the place to start is with ourselves. When we balance our own emotions our situation becomes much more clear. Then we can respond in a loving and supportive way.
Next time when you are convinced that your spouse really needs to tap, remember your power and that YOU can help your spouse by tapping on yourself….
And Luv Delicious!
ShareHeart Broken Swallow
His mate is injured; she was hit by a car as she swooped low across the road.
He brought her food and attended to her with love and compassion.
He brought her food again, but was shocked this time to find her dead. Then he tried to move her (a rarely-seen effort for swallows).
Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never come back to him again, he cries out with adoring love
.
He stood beside her, telling the world that he is saddened by her death.
Finally aware that she would never return to him, he stood beside her body with only sadness and sorrow.
Millions of people in America , Europe and India cried after seeing these photos. The photographer sold these pictures for a nominal fee to the most famous newspaper in France . All copies of that edition were sold out on the day these pictures were published.
You have just witnessed Love and Sorrow Felt by God’s creatures.
And many people will still believe animals don’t have a brain or feelings…
Watch your thoughts, for they become words;
Watch your words, for they become actions;
Watch your actions, for they become character;
Watch your character, for it becomes destiny.
EFT Hawaii
www.livdelicious.com
What’s love got to do with Facebook?
Everything!
I have recently posted a rhetorical question on my Facebook wall “I often wonder who of my FB friends would really be there for me when life is not so Delicious….”
All the responses were loving and kind ranging from people I never met, to people I am personally close with.
Have you joined FaceBook yet? I would love to be your FB friend and stay in touch… then you don’t have to wonder who would be there for you when life is not so Delicious!
My page is – http://www.facebook.com/LivDelicious
EFT Hawaii
ShareFrom Rapunzel’s cell to the Palace of Possibilities
Recently, “Cindy” came to my office, here in Hawaii, and wanted to do EFT about the experience she had as a teenage girl that was still weighing on her.
Her parents were overprotective and ignoring. They wanted to make sure she is not bothering them and that she is always at home, in her room. All the time. All of the time. Even as a teenager. “Cindy” was allowed to go to school and come back right after. No hanging out with the girls, no sleep-overs, no going out to the movies. She was in her room all of the time. Her room was a prison cell; a place where she felt captured and trapped. Similar to Rapunzel from the tale.
“Cindy” was a beautiful, passionate, teenager and even while “captured” in her room, she found the way to get the world to her. Her boyfriend would climb up the window and sneak in. They spent hours and hours together. Doing everything that teenagers do, and everything teenagers are not allowed to do.
“Cindy” wanted to feel better about her parents and forgive them. She felt unable to because of the strong feelings of hurt, betrayal and feeling as a slave.
I had an intense hunch to tap on the perspective and check in with the feelings later.
We tapped on the karate chop spot this way:
- Even though I still feel trapped in my prison cell, I remember I was a smart little girl.
- Even though I thought it was a prison cell, it was actually my Palace of Possibilities; it was my world, my fun, my joy, my first kiss and beyond!
*now, she was smiling mischievously and nodding her head
- Even though they thought they have me under their control, the truth is, I had it all planned MY WAY and I love and accept myself and my way!
When she repeated the words My Way, she stop tapping and was so happy. “Yes”, she said “I was in control, I had so much fun with my Boyfriend and nobody ever found out. My room was my Palace of Possibilities, everything was possible in there. And yes, his kisses were Delicious. It was a fairy-tale.”
Tapping and changing the aspect of her perception instantly removed all the disturbing emotions. What a pleasure for “Cindy” to realize that and for me to witness the 30+ years of imprisonment being freed.
Delicious Question is:
How do you look at your life? What is your perception? In what aspects you see yourself as a slave to some old story?
Delicious Perspective is:
There is ALWAYS another side that feels much better. Another side of the emotional scale. Finding it is a Delicious Discovery. Let’s do it together!
EFT Hawaii
www.livdelicious.com
The worst “Dear John” letter in the world!
Last fall, my client, “Joy” met the “man of her dreams” online. She was young, beautiful, and vivacious. “Peter” was unusual, funny, interesting fellow. They lived few hours away and decided to try their love on the phone to see if they are still going to be interested in pursuing each other.
They had a quite passionate love affair using Internet, text messaging and phone calls.
Finally, they decided to meet in person. Since it was practical for her schedule, she was about to go to meet him. They were both so excited and happy. Their friends and family shared same feelings. Trip was scheduled.
Then, Joy never heard from Peter again. She was missing him and wondering what happened.
Out of the blue, Joy received the worst “Dear John” letter ever -
“I am not going to pursue a relationship with you. This is not open for discussion. Hence forth I will no longer be in communication with you.”
She was devastated. Sad, perplexed, confused, regretful, lonely…. Read more
ShareTrue Love
The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21. The picture was taken shortly before her wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US . Katie had terminal cancer and spent hours a day receiving medication
Katie Kirkpatrick was brought up in Metamora, in Lapeer County, about 50 miles from Detroit. Nick Godwin, a 23-year-old Lapeer County Sheriff’s deputy who wanted to be a cop since he was 2, is strong and athletic. He has loved Katie since 11th grade.
When Nick sent Katie a Valentine’s Day e-mail in February 2002, he decided it would be his last attempt at winning her heart. Instead, he received an e-mail from her father that she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and was in the hospital. Nick couldn’t explain it, but he needed to be with her. “Something about her made me feel differently than anybody else did,” he said.
A few weeks later, Katie had surgery. After that, she had follow-up treatments. She lost some of her language skills; she had to learn to read again. But she was getting better. She was feeling healthy. There were no signs of cancer. 
In March 2003, she realized that she might feel something more than friendship toward Nick. In July, she told Nick she loved him. In October he was baptized in Katie’s church. The same month, she learned the cancer had returned — this time in and around her lungs.
She went through more chemotherapy, and for a while, the cancer seemed under control. She went to work raising money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. She spoke to business owners and civic groups and raised $28,000 for Cancer foundation. It was the fall of 2004, and her cancer was spreading.
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