> Meet Helena > Story of Helena > Mission Statement > Photo Gallery Fear of Speaking "Angleesh"

Once upon a time, there was a country, made up of 6 nationalities, 4 religions, and 3 different alphabets. It's name was Yugoslavia.

Once upon a time, in that same historical country, there was a girl… But before that, she was just a pain in… her mother’s womb.

Yes, you are right – it was me!

As soon as I was born – I started growing.

I was very unique and special… just like my twin sister.

Well, yes, I was different than my sister. (I guess that’s why my mom always sewed clothes with our initials on them.)

 With my older brother Robert and my twin sister Jelena

Boy, was I self-assured. And I was famous. Everyone knew me in my family. My brother, Robert, could never decide between Helena, Jelena, and his toys… so he just squeezed us all.

Before I was 1 year old, I was composing two word sentences. It was usually a combination of “blah” and “blah.”  Sometimes, there were even words of wisdom, but only my sis could understand them.

I was fascinated with life, animals, insects, and fruits. Once, I experimented if I could eat 3 cups of apricot puree without getting sick… I couldn’t.

"Curious" was my nick name. I just wanted to know about everything, all of the time. I always had a question, which, if asked in public, would embarrass my mom. I would approach men who had a beard or moustache and ask if they were real or just “movie fake.”

When they would respond, “It’s real,” I would test it by pulling on them, without asking for permission. My mom was so sweet. She backed me up every time. She would usually do that with her hand. She never used a belt… unless I deserved it.

Not only was she kind, she was also smart. Being a mathematics and physics teacher, we all “grew up with Einstein.” To get permission to chew gum at home, we had to know the physics law that explained that possibility…..

She also gave me a magic book, “Answers to 1000 why’s.” Although I couldn’t read at the time, so she got herself into trouble – I now became even more curious as I was just looking at the pictures and asking what they meant.

When I finally learned to read and write – I was unstoppable – creating ideas all over the walls…

I would sing, dance, have fun, and then pretend that I was just an Angel. My mom knew better, otherwise, she would have named me Heaven-a instead of Hell-ena.

 With my mommy and my happy twin sister

Yes, I enjoyed playing, being creative, writing short poems or silly rhymes, performing and reciting my tunes; I was always filled with ideas, music, and Deliciousness!

But, besides learning these fun things – I also learned that life is not always just fun… My father was not exactly qualified to receive a Gold medal in loving parenting… not even qualified for the title of “father”… and I thought that it is me who was wrong. I was convinced that I was a bad girl (which I was, at times :-) and that he behaved the way he did to punish me. No matter how hard I tried to be “good,” I was never good enough. I was scared, fearful and the worst of all – I had to be quiet! It was great, though, when he was not at home. Boy, did we enjoy that time.

To add a cherry on the top – I was chosen by my classmates to be the class President. That was the beginning of the end for me. Endless bullying and harassment - for the next 3 years. What a great chance to experience fear of success!

Sound familiar?

Finally, at my lucky age of 13, my parents got divorced. We moved and everything was just fine, at least at home. I was alive, active, and Delicious again – roller skating on the streets, acting in a local theatre, falling in love, writing poems, active on a local radio show, training athletics, and being goofy… externally.

Internally, I had a question – an important question that I wanted to have the answer to; “What is the meaning of life?” “Why do we live?” “Why are we born?”

I would ask people on the streets. I thought that since older people lived life for so long, then certainly, they must know the answer. Most of them thought that the meaning of life was to have children or to go to church.

I was a child. According to that theory, my father had 3 children. 3 meanings that he abused? No! It didn’t make sense.

So, I thought that God must be the meaning. I started going to church daily and finally said to my mom that I would soon become a nun. She simply replied, “You? You are too talkative for that!”

That felt like a rejection from God himself. I was again all alone, afraid and scared, without any meaning for my young life.
My fear just got stronger and deeper as the pre-war tension in the Country grew. I could smell the death in the air. War was just about to start. I got to the point of being so scared, I didn’t want to leave my house.

My mom took me to a Mr. Shrink “Teen Anxiety,” he said quickly, as he diagnosed me just by talking with my mom. “Take this yellow pill for smiling, white one for stress and the big one for fear.” He didn’t tell me that it would make me sleep 16 hours a day, or that my skin would dry out, become very itchy, and my smile would be very dull.Because of those side effects – I was in a flight or fight survival mode. I knew that I needed to do something! Then my brother gave me a strange Indian book about Yoga, Meditation and Self realization. Wow! That was just what I needed. I started reading right away and practicing meditation. I started throwing my pills in the toilet and began feeling better, calmer and more grounded. What a feeling!

As war started, I was not even 15 – but I wanted to help – I even joined a local civil protection group and assisted in collecting medical supplies, volunteering whenever help was needed. Sometimes, we had to stay in a shelter for 72 hours, without seeing the light of the day. Hearing bombing, airplanes, machine guns… it was all part of our daily routine... it was "normal".

One thing about war that annoyed me the most was people listening to horrible news radio. As if it was not enough to see the buildings disappear, they needed additional anxiety to enhance the dreadful situation? My mom was doing the same thing – extremely worried about my brother who was on the first line. I have never seen her so scared.

Then, the super woman in me awoke – I took my mom away from the radio and coached her in how to meditate, how to close her eyes, and simply be great… great-ful. We focused just 5 minutes a day. That was Delicious! She could relax a little and breath deeper.

If only I would have had the knowledge of EFT, it would have made a HUGE difference in our lives and helped relieve a variety of problems that war had created – anxieties, fears, grief, loss, anger, terror, PTSD. EFT is so effective; it would have been a magic wand in the midst of that anxious time.

And here is how the whole Personal story turns into a Professional story.

Because little did I know that my father, school boys, “rejection by God,” and civil war were my biggest blessings in disguise. They helped me develop a real understanding for other's pain, true compassion, persistence, and the belief in myself and my personal mission in life.  I thank you all for being an important stepping stone in my personal and professional growth.

From that moment, until today, I have been brushing up on my knowledge and skills. Spiritual focus was extremely important and it took me all the way to India. Yes, I flew by airplane for the very first time, and that was not even important anymore. My focus was on India and my own spiritual connection.

 In India

I was "knowledge hungry" and wanted to get as many informations as possible - I traveled 12 European countries, and learned German. I learned about different people and the fact that they all have different needs, and developed a strong desire to see more of Asia.  There was a deep connection that was Delicious to my soul. I was hungry for more.

My friend went to Japan and so did I. Tokyo will always keep a very special part of my heart. It was a lovely time when in 2001 I discovered EFT, and my life had changed again. Gosh, I love changes! (Unless I have to change deeply filled diapers.)

My fabulous change in Tokyo is the reason Why I Liv Delicious™. I used EFT for my chronic phobia of speaking English with Native English speakers. I tapped and tapped and never fainted again! If I could do it, everyone can do it!

Overcoming this fear opened all the doors for me! The whole world! I traveled 19 world countries and read over 150 books - in English!

Finally - in 2004, I came to my dream home - beautiful, tropical Hawaii, following my love and the guidance of my heart. (Aren’t those moves the most Delicious ones?)

And yes, even recently, I have experienced uncertainty, broken heart, and great loss… I do know the sound of pain… thanks to EFT, I know the sound of joy too...

Today, I am Great-ful to be here and enjoy who I am, and who I am becoming. (I am a work in progress, a never ending project.)

I am good to myself – I allow myself to be down and blue; for a full hour, sometimes two. And then I pick up my Liv Delicious™ attitude and move on to a place which feels better.
If I can’t change circumstances, I change what I can – my response to it, my own experience.

After all… life is short – I am capable! So are you!

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